GOOD PARENTING series: CONSISTENCY

A teacher gave candy to every child in her class but a little girl. She said the little girl was  naughty. The poor little girl about three years old suggested to her closest  classmate to go to the toilet to pee, having done the same with the help of the teacher. So, the boy shouted to get the attention of the teacher," I want to pee." Hurriedly the teacher took the boy to the loo. Immediately, the poor little girl ran after them and locked them up in the toilet. The teacher yelled at her from behind the door. How manipulative and manipulative you'd agree the little girl was.
It was late Dorothy Law Nolte, a lifelong teacher and lecturer in family life education , who wrote, " Children Learn What They Live" in her poem. The little girl must have learnt being manipulative out of the differences observed in her parents. They obviously were communicating but not consistent in speaking the same language in every context as related to the child's affair.If  a child  grows up in a family  where the parents' view of issues are evidently divergent and different, lacking congruency and consistency, the child may tend to be manipulative. How do I mean? A child wants to play outside in the rain, and she  goes to the mother  but the  mom says, "No!" She wears  sad, flabby cheeks and drags herself  helplessly to her dad, and he says that it's ok you can play in the rain.
We, as parents must find ray area in things that involve creating values in our children. The next time she comes to me, I will tell her," Go and ask your mom; whatever she says, just obey." I struggle  with this sometimes  because I just want the little damsel to enjoy herself. But whatever indulgence we avail them, we should minimize their "wins" by closing up the consistency gap between us_ dad and mom. I agree with my wife about not raising a spoilt child.Hmmm.
We are getting better.

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